


Homecoming

by Ullrsskis



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Elsanna - Freeform, F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21815299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ullrsskis/pseuds/Ullrsskis
Summary: Destiny forced Elsa to leave her True Love and everything she'd ever known at the end of Frozen 2 to live as a hermit in Ahtohallan.What if the reason for the separation wasn't all she thought it was?Kristanna mentioned in the past tense.Many thanks to my lovely betas for keeping me honest!
Relationships: Anna/Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 47





	1. Origins

She was missing Anna. Elsa knew the familiar pain and just where it came from. It was her nearly constant companion now as she walked through the luminous birch forest. Despite her heartsickness, she was still entranced by its beauty after, what was it now, six months?…seven?. Time seemed to stand still here in Northuldra, each day seamlessly flowing into the next in an endless river of memory and light.

She paused in her journey, sitting on the soft ground against one of the sturdy white trunks, to contemplate what the Spirits had decided to reveal to her conscious mind. After months of mindfulness and practice she’d learned how to summon memory now outside the halls of Ahtohallan. She could now bring forth the memory of water any where and so, sitting amidst the dappled afternoon sunshine, she summoned her ‘diamonds’ as the villagers called them and looked among them for where to start today’s lesson.

True, they did look very much like gemstones but to Elsa the constellation of tiny mirrored surfaces was infinitely more precious than any earthly bauble.

For within each of these was a fountain of life and remembrance…moments that had been imprinted on her soul since her first conception of this world. Each of these made up who she was, these points of light were _of_ _her, by her and for her_ , the one she’d been looking for…since….since _that first unbearable moment of loss._

She reached out and chose a glimmering white shard of ice and held it up…her mind’s eye opened and the memory unfolded before her….

**…Origins.**

* * *

**Origins**

Strolling almost casually within her domain one morning, the Snow Queen had unexpectedly found that very first moment of her existence, tucked deep within Ahtohallan’s immortal caves of ice. A frosty blue-white light blazed forth as she approached it. Gazing at the icy creation, a lonely child’s bassinet situated by itself, she felt the heavy but familiar weight of destiny lower itself upon her shoulders again. One more task it promised, one more lesson that the glacier had to teach her. _And then she would rest._

She’d stopped instantly upon realizing the import of what lay before her. Standing there for Goddess knows how long, she held herself and the world she knew tightly within. _More change_ , she grimaced, _another unlit path I’m forced to follow_ … knowing this meant another leap into the unknown. It required trust in powers she’d only just come to terms with and that trust did not come easily with her to say the least. Despite the peace that came with learning who she was, this new challenge frightened her. The last leap she’d taken had come with a terrible price…. _Anna_ …

….she fled of course, as fast as she could spur her feet to action. She ran, running again from further _pain_ , further _knowledge_ , further _distance_ from the one she loved, but could not love. 

She cursed the mysterious and cruel fates as she ran, her rage building. She spat out her hatred for her ‘Destiny’ as she defied the waves of the Dark Sea. And when her anger was spent, she cried for solace to the bright blue and green rivers of the Aurora, her only comfort and companion in her loneliness and desperation. Even the Goddess herself seemed to have abandoned her.

In time she calmed and tried to put it out of her mind, busying herself with the many minor tasks in her domain, wandering the vast emptiness of the northern tundra and the surrounding seas or spending time with the Northuldra. 

But the pull of these final ice-secrets invaded even her waking dreams. Without hope for herself, she accepted that no matter the personal cost, this would be her final step in truly understanding who she was and who she must serve. _As always_ , she sighed bitterly, _life left her no choices._

With a trembling heart, she turned her mount toward the glacier…

Drawing a shaky breath and glancing around the womb-like cavern, she momentarily wondered if the revelations and the pain accompanying them would ever end and…….putting all thoughts of _her_ out of her mind, she stood in front of the icy bassinet once more. Looking inside, she saw a tiny infant swaddled in soft blankets. She reached out her open hand and…

_…..It began as a brief flash of immense power and love, a light so brilliant it penetrated and overwhelmed all existence. She felt movement…..purpose…..power. Points of light whirled amidst waves of aurora-like beauty. Intense Blues of every shade entwined with Greens from deep sea to pale aquamarine and rich emerald……she was awestruck and speechless, suspended, in transit from the Origins…..but soon all this began to fade as she approached her destination…_

_…She was now alone in a shadow realm between worlds. The emptiness and isolation were limitless and soon became like a physical burden, weighing upon her spirit. She began to cry, for any sensation, even pain to break the solitude…_

_….and time passed……_

_…….she slowly became aware of a hunger as the darkness became absolute, a terrible hunger and a desperate desire for light. She also knew of the voice…a muffled voice, a warm voice, somewhere far above her as well as a reassuring thrum-thrum, thrum-thrum, thrum-thrum – both a sound and a sensation. These became her only friends, but after her time of isolation, they were enough.._

_…again, time passed, and her life took on a new rhythm…_

_She had arrived. The Snow Queen felt a tear roll down her cheek and her breath hitched as she looked up from her carved wooden bassinet through the eyes of her memory. Her new eyes focused poorly at her struggling little hands and the reds and blues of her rosemailed coverlets. She heard in her ears the soft cooing she made and then the gradual increase in volume and pitch until the adult was crying herself, tears cascading down her face in solidarity with the baby now seemingly alone in a wild and unfamiliar place._

_But soon, a face appeared above her, a woman’s face framed by beautiful brown hair and a bright smile. A man’s strong but trembling hands reached for her, drew her up and laid her on the woman’s chest. Immediate warmth and relief surged through the baby Snow Queen as she drew her nourishment from the woman’s breast and her fears subsided with the sound of the steady and familiar heartbeat of Iduna, Northuldran maiden and Queen of Arendelle._


	2. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa's learning continues, led by the Spirits to understand her true place in the world.

She began to awaken with a slight tickle on her cheek. Absently bringing her left hand to her face, she heard a tiny squeak of indignance and felt Bruni leap down to the leafy forest floor. Opening her eyes and with a deep hitching breath, the memory still fresh in her mind, she smiled at the little fire lizard. A wave of her hand provided a personal snow flurry for him – all he seemed to need these days – and she watched as he snacked on the swirling white flakes.

The diamond-shaped ice shards still slowly swirled about her, just as she’d left them before drifting off against the tree. It was happening with increasing frequency she admitted to herself, these periods of remembrance, understanding and of…absent-mindedness. She chuckled despite herself at the smirk on sure to be on Anna’s face if she knew how her big sister had become nearly as addled and awkward as she had been in her younger days. 

_Sisters_. Elsa worked that word around in her head for a moment as Bruni continued to frolic in the miniature blizzard. She knew now they were nothing of the sort. Just as she’d been told, she was a ‘gift from the Spirits’ – but she hadn’t any conception that the word had meant _THIS_ ….. Her entire world had changed _again_ upon the knowledge of her Origins. But this time, although shocking, the knowledge was emancipating, freeing her of untold numbers of unanswered questions she’d had over her short 25 years of life. So many pieces had come together just in the hours and days following her experience in the cave she sometimes felt as if she’d been born anew.

She released the Origins shard and chose another, a pale violet diamond that danced as if demanding to be plucked from its place among its peers….

**….Beginnings.**

_\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**Beginnings**

Iduna and Agnarr had yet to be married when the future Queen of Arendelle tearfully approached her fiancé with the news. She was late, by more than two weeks, and the royal physician had confirmed, she was pregnant. He had kindly offered to discreetly inform the King on her behalf but she had her mother’s strength of character and armed with the knowledge that she was an innocent and pure woman, she knocked upon his study door late that evening.

“My darling, you should be in bed at this hour!” Agnarr whispered, putting down his pipe and rising from his fireside chair. He took her into her arms and felt her body shudder slightly. Holding her gently at arm’s length he queried “What’s wrong my dear? Are you nervous about the wedding?” At this Iduna dropped to the nearest chair and broke down into heartrending sobs. At a loss, he slowly realized that now was not the time for words so, dropping to his knees he simply held her as she wept, his own heart breaking with each wracking sob and his thoughts growing darker by the moment with dread at what could have broken this proud and wonderful woman so completely. 

After she had quieted, her words began to flow. They tumbled out in a torrent, one over another. She implored him to forgive her, to spare her and the child. Yes the wedding would have to be called off. Yes she knew their betrothal was over. She was beyond grief now, although determined to protect her mysterious unborn child. She was a spiritual woman, in the tradition of her people, but she was at a loss to explain the child she carried. After a time, she was no longer asking him, she was telling him that the child would be raised as her own and if he would simply allow her to leave with a handful of coins she would make her own way in the world.

He sat across from her, listening. From time to time as her voice became stretched and painfully strident he would deliberately relax his growing anxiety and loosen his grip on the carved wooden arms of his seat, calming himself. As her monologue slowed and she slumped, tearful and exhausted in her chair, he rose and stood by the fireplace, an internal war within him raging. 

After her words had settled in his heart and he had quieted his internal doubts and fears, he looked up in silence at the portrait of his father. What would Runeard have done, he thought? More importantly, what should a _King_ do? How many Kings had dealt with _this?_ he wondered, exasperated. That he trusted Iduna, there was no doubt. Neither he nor she understood just what had happened but it was no fault of hers, of that he was sure. 

He glanced up again at his father, his one-time King and at once he knew the answer. 

_To hell with what a King would do_. What this _man_ will do is stand by his partner and face the future and its consequences. We are _stronger together_ he told himself. 

King Agnarr strode from where he was standing and then, kneeling before her, took Iduna by the hands, met her level gaze with one of his own, and brought their hearts together with words of love, reassurance and comfort.

“The child will be raised as our own” he said. “I love this child,” he affirmed, “as surely as you will be my wife and I your husband. They shall grow and thrive within these walls and shall be the heir to my throne and to my Kingdom. We will handle the calendar watchers by moving up the wedding and no hint of shadow or scandal will shade our family” he declared finally and kissed his bride-to-be, their tears tracing entwined trails over their closely pressed cheeks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've elected to go with shorter chapters to provide a break between 'meditation' sessions.  
> Please let me know if this is working for you or not.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading!


	3. The Letter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa recalls a turning point in her life. Did she make the right decision?  
> Is it too late to make amends?

With a deep, cleansing breath Elsa awoke from her meditation, with Iduna’s pleas and Agnarr’s calm and determined assurances still resonating in her ears. 

“Mamma, Pappa.” She whispered. “You fought so hard for me, from the very start. I came, a stranger into your new home – and you, you loved me.”

She began to cry softly. Tears of mixed relief and of sorrow. Relief at finally, finally knowing the truth. Sorrow at ever having doubted them, her adoptive parents. 

She released the violet shard of Beginnings and it resumed it’s circling orbit among the cloud.

As she pondered again the choices her parents made, she felt the final remaining vestiges of guilt, of regret, of pain and sorrow leave her. As her fears had fallen away, so too did years of resentment and blame she’d held for them. They’d made mistakes yes, _but so had she_. They’d had no idea who she was, she’d finally understood, nor why she’d been sent to them or even where she’d come from. How _could_ they know, when she herself didn’t know – until now.

Born of woman, but of Divine and Spirit blood. 

She held no illusions about immortality or of some exalted status or existence. No, she knew she was still simply Elsa. The girl who loved chocolate, poetry and sitting beneath the spreading boughs of a birch-tree. The mischief-maker who used to love to build snowmen, ice skating and to ‘do the magic’ for her little Anna. And now she was the woman who cared little for the company of others or for any of the many powers that she now possessed, but would give it all for a warm fire, a soft blanket and Anna’s head in her lap. 

As always though, responsibility was still hers. All Divine Gifts came with a price, she told herself and hers was to remain here, away from the life she knew and the one who owned her heart. 

“Ugh!!” she hissed. Banishing once again _those_ thoughts, as they only led to melancholy and feeling sorry for oneself, she looked around and saw that Bruni had wandered off to play elsewhere, or perhaps to burn and clear some of those beetle-killed pine groves, a directive she’d given him and the Earth Giants recently to reduce the threat of fire to both Northuldra and Arendelle. 

She glanced at the sunlight and shadows among the birch trees and and chose a floating gray crystal in front of her – staring deeply into its depths…

**…The Letter.**

Kristoff. The man she’d been grateful to, occasionally incensed at and almost always jealous of. It had been immensely comforting to know that Anna wasn’t alone on her trek up to the Ice Castle, _“nor would she be alone after I’d sent Marshmallow after them and kicked them both down the North Mountain.”_ she giggled in spite of herself. Kristoff. The ice harvester, raised by rock trolls. She’d conspired with him to surprise Anna for _The Birthday_ Party and spent more time with him than she preferred simply to make sure he knew what a precious find Anna was.A man who was loyal, quite brave, completely trustworthy and who….ultimately, she’d lost Anna to.

 _But that had now changed_ , she nervously affirmed to herself, afraid to speak it aloud lest reality reshuffle and the truth of it blow away like so many leaves in the wind…

_\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------_

**The Letter**

It was a sunny afternoon in December, a rarity here in the northern sáivu or sacred hills as the Arendellians would later call them. She was accompanied by Gale as she walked the ancient paths, and though she would have preferred to be alone here, she smiled in appreciation at Gale’s antics…somewhat more lively today than she usually expressed. 

“What is it my dear?” She queried good naturedly, “What’s got you up into a whirl today?”

In response Gale sent a veritable stormburst of wind circling the Snow Queen but leaving her untouched. Despite the relative calm surrounding her person, Elsa blinked rapidly and held her arms in front of her face, watching as the short tundra grasses and tiny shrubs bore the brunt of the sudden wind shear. She felt a tugging at her gossamer cape and a compulsion to turn and face south. The sun warmed her porcelain skin as she did so and brought another smile to her face. Her mood was light despite her slight heartsickness – always present but today less oppressive than usual.

With her mistress now turned in the proper direction, Gale released her cape and focused all her efforts on speeding the missive as rapidly as possible without rending it to tatters. This message, penned so carefully by her second mistress, the Queen of Arendelle, was important, Gale knew. Perhaps it was the tear-smudged ink, or the shaky hand that delivered it to her waiting but gentle winds at the Castle balcony but Gale knew….this one should not wait.

In the distance, Elsa could just make out a large fluttering cloud of brown birds….no, not birds…leaves….LEAVES? She wondered, gazing around at what she knew was hundreds of leagues of treeless land. Within a span of heartbeats a folded parchment had been gently pressed into her hand and the following rush of leaves had circled into a diminishing cyclone and slowly floated back to earth.

“Well _that_ was impressive Gale”, she laughed, “what was so important that you had to….”

“Oh no, Anna…” she gasped and tore open the letter. Conjuring an ice bench beneath her she dropped upon it and began to read the parchment penned by the woman she carried always in her heart

_My Dearest Elsa,_

_It is with a heavy heart that I write to you today. I do not know where you are, but I’m hopeful that Gale will deliver this to your hands with deliberate haste. I so desperately wanted to see you last Friday but as you must have been busy we didn’t get the chance. I waited up so late for you that I missed my morning briefing with Kai….the first time that’s happened, honest!!_

(Elsa’s heart fell. She’d been uncomfortable for some time at the familiarity of Kristoff and his reindeer wandering the halls and….no, be honest, that wasn’t it at all, she thought. She’d had enough. It had finally come to a head a few weeks ago when their game night had been interrupted by Kristoff’s desire to plan their wedding reception. Anna had reluctantly, at first, joined in but soon they were pushing each other, laughing and joking with Kristoff crafting the worst and crudest innuendos about their wedding night, leaving Anna blushing and Elsa quietly excusing herself to ride back to Ahtohallan that night, instead of staying over as she usually did. Afterwards she couldn’t bring herself to make the next two gatherings, despite Anna’s pleas. Her heartsickness worsened.)

_But, well I couldn’t wait any longer and I had to send this letter. I hope I’m not bothering you or interrupting anything important….._

_Kristoff an …_ (the ink here is smudged)… _e aren’t together any more._

(Full Stop. The Snow Queen’s heart leapt into her throat, preventing her from taking a breath. She found herself digging her nails into the crystal ice bench she was seated on before daring to raise the letter back to her hungry eyes once more...Anna’s floral handwriting continued…)

_Oh Elsa I tried so hard to make him happy and he tried too, but though we seemed to work well together in a crisis, well – look our worlds are just too far apart. That’s what I told him. He was always ducking his etiquette lessons and showing up in his animal furs to council meetings. I told him time and again that his was a new role and that certain standards of dress and decorum were necessary, I mean I’m no fan of corsets and button shoes but I get by don’t I? And after all, it was him that……_

(over a page of closely-spaced argumentative prose and occasional rants followed as Elsa’s eyes skimmed the page to the closing paragraphs her heart beating a steadily increasing rhythm….)

_In the end I returned his ring and we agreed that it was best for him to leave the castle grounds and return to his ice harvesting business. You know he never slept in the castle, even after we returned from Northuldra? He just kept saying he was more comfortable in the stables! Ugh!! What can you do with that?!!_

_I told him that he’d always be the Royal Ice Harvester and that his business would never want for customers in southern Arendelle or among our trading partners. Whatever, who cares about business, I just was looking for something, Anything! to say and as usual my verbal vomit took over. How I wish (for the thousandth time) I had your grace and poise! I was so sick the day he left that I had Kai cancel all my meetings and forbade even Gerda from coming in to check on me. I must have cried a river that night but it was so strange, it wasn’t for my failed engagement or for Kristoff, though I truly do miss him._

_Anyway, I believe he plans to visit the Southern Isles and Corona for a time to be away from here and see if he can sign some new contracts._

_My dearest, what I’m trying to say is that I’m struggling to be strong but my heart is broken. It’s funny, I’m truly not sad at seeing Kristoff go - although now that I’m 0 – 2 in engagements I am surely feeding the gossip circles among our nobles - and I know he and I will be okay at some point._

_No my darling, my heart is broken because you and I are so far apart now. I feel your absence in everything I do and everything I see. Your desk is still …_

(Tears, never far from the surface begin to rain down the Snow Queen’s face and drop upon the page. She quickly pulls the paper away so as not to smudge the ink further and sobs for a brief moment before wiling herself to be calm. “Get a grip Elsa, she’s talking to you and she needs you – but this is not about _you_.” she exclaims, “Now read and try to keep it together for once!.”)

_…right where you left it. I haven’t touched a thing in your study or even in your bedroom – although Kai keeps telling me I need to move into the Royal Suite. I just can’t bring myself to move any of your things. They remind me that you once lived here and that I could just skip down the hall and find you whenever I needed you or you needed me ya know? It’s like I dream…and this is stupid I know…but I dream that one day I’ll wake up and you’ll be here, working at your desk, with your beautiful hand forming letters of command or of commendation, and I’d come in and bring you a chocolate or two after I knew you were working too long and too hard. I….(The page has been wetted here at some point and the ink has run)… that day._

_Well I’ve gone and made a mess of this letter now, sorry about that. I want this to get to you right away so I won’t write it over again._

_I love you Elsa, more than I can ever say. Please come home._

_Your Anna_

She sat there for what seemed an eternity, her heart in her throat, her eyes closed and her hands clutched to her chest. She was so long in fact that Gale whirled away after waiting the customary period for any return correspondence. The sun waned and the evening approached yet still the Snow Queen’s tears had not ceased...

* * *

It was in the golden gloaming as Elsa released the gray shard and it resumed its place among the cloud of today’s memories. She kept her eyes closed and heavily swallowed her freshly renewed grief at the distance between her heart and where she sat in the faraway lands of the Northuldra.

At last though she did manage to calm herself. Shaken from the revelations provided by the three crystalline shards, she dried her eyes and tried to make sense of what she’d be shown and more importantly, to ask the question why? 

First her origins, letting her know that she was, in spirit and in the flesh a gift from the Spirits. A gift unto the Northuldran Iduna and her Arendellian husband Agnarr.

Afterwards she was shown the beginnings of how her parents struggled to understand how this ‘gift’ came to be, for it also came with potentially dire consequences in the world they lived in.

And finally, she reflected with considerable anguish, the Spirits had opened the deepest and most painful of old wounds…. 

Why had they done it? “WHY?!” she suddenly shouted at the treetops. “What do you want from me now?” But there was no reply – not even a hint of a breeze.

Anna just didn’t understand, she told herself. She couldn’t ‘go home’. That was how children behaved. It was quite clear to her that her responsibility, her destiny as the Snow Queen had to come first and that opening her heart to the one person who owned it was just a non-option. No, the only path forward was self-denial and service. 

_Only Destiny mattered._

Rising and brushing the leaves and dust from her skirts she left her resting place behind and began to walk the final leg of her journey, the memory of her reply now freshly rewritten upon her soul

She’d explained in a letter, delivered by Gale a day later that she couldn’t possibly get to Arendelle any time soon. She sent her condolences at the broken engagement and promised that she’d visit, just as soon as her work in the north gave her a pause.

It was the hardest letter she’d ever written, and the first time she’d ever deliberately lied to Anna.

It almost killed her, so grief-stricken did she become. Gale circled for some time above the girl laying prone in the snow, her body wracked with sobs before finally, almost reluctantly, carrying her mistress’s letter to the south.

The return letters from Anna began to come less frequently and when they did come, were increasingly distant, speaking of trade negotiations and asking for tax advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Painful I know. :-(  
> Elsa has made her decision, it appears.
> 
> Stay with me. It'll be okay, I promise.


	4. The Snow Queen's Choice

She wasn’t far now, she remembered. She was walking to the main Northuldra village, the one where she and…Anna…had first made contact with the isolated people.

The inhabitants were going about their evening routines, tidying up, cooking and finishing whatever chores required the last bit of daylight to accomplish.

She enjoyed these people, their quiet company and their respect for her privacy. She gained comfort from these mundane rituals of nomadic life and returning a friendly wave or two, she sat on a nearby bench and gazed skyward looking for the first stars of the night sky. 

Without waiting for her summons, she was immediately surrounded by a dense thicket of luminous ice shards. She fought her initial panic at the sudden onslaught. Though the sight was luminously beautiful, she was in no mood for further lessons. Surely the spirits didn’t intend for her to entertain all of these memories tonight, did they? And what was the purpose? What was the damn reason for the renewed pain and soul-shaking revelations? 

She searched herself, mind and spirit for anything she might have left undone. Anything that might have upset the Spirits and encouraged them to unleash more hell upon her. Things were quiet in the North, she told herself. In fact she hadn’t had any real tasks to accomplish in quite some time. 

“What is it that you want me to know?” She found herself saying out loud. “What is it I’m missing?”

In an instant she felt them all, every last memory and every hidden desire she’d been suppressing for so long…..her eyes closed and her mind opened, to both _past memory_ and _future possibility_ …

….and she was missing her again, as intensely as she ever had.…and in a dizzying blur she longed for her cozy bedroom, peppermint tea, cucumber sandwiches, hot baths, soap, her study, books, towels, chocolate, the town fountains, Kai, Gerda, bicycling down the stairs with Anna, eating breakfast with Anna and occasional wrangling with the council of ministers (she was quite good at it after all). She felt herself dancing with Anna, their spirits light and their bodies moving in synchronous rhythm to the latest Strauss waltz, the envy of hundreds in the Grand Ballroom. Then she was skating with Anna on the ice pond at the North Mountain, Anna holding her close, her warm breath causing Elsa’s face to flush and her eyes to focus on Anna’s ruby lips. She heard the sounds of the town as it woke up on a sunny Spring morning. She was overwhelmed by the smell of the sea breeze wafting through the firs out on that promontory where she and Anna had their first picnic after the thaw. The tapestries that hung in the hallway of the royal wing of the castle, ice cream, carpets, and Joan of Arc all flew by in a warm and comforting rush. Her mind paused briefly upon a vision of the mantelpiece over the fireplace in the castle library - covered in objet d’art from every continent and distant land. She was cuddling with Anna, a book in her hands and Anna’s head on her shoulder. Her desk, her pens, her stationery, the tiny portrait of Anna that she’d given Elsa for her 24th birthday, the ink blotter that her uncle had carved for her, to her inks (blue for Royal Correspondence, black for business, forest green for Anna) was all exactly where she liked it - a place for everything and everything in its place. She saw with a smile her burgundy velvet desk chair - where despite spending too many nights falling asleep, Anna would never fail to find her, bringing a bit of chocolate cake after midnight, or a savory treat and some hot tea in the afternoon, And in an increasingly rapid sequence, she experienced Anna’s smile, Anna’s laugh when she would tickle her, the smell of Anna’s copper hair after a bath, lavender and sage, Anna’s earthy scent after her equestrian lessons, perspiration shimmering on her tanned shoulders and arms, the gentle caress of Anna’s fingers entwined with hers as they walked along the shoreline of the fjord in the autumn, the hypnotizing flicker of Anna’s aquamarine eyes in the candlelight of their evening meal, the dreamy slow Lorsdag mornings without appointments before noon, when they could ease themselves into a wakeful state with gentle back rubs, silly jokes and ever so soft kisses that left her feeling like she could fly right out the window and live among the clouds as long as her True Love was with her…

“Elsa…Elsa!……ELSA!” shouted Honeymaren from the fireside.

“Huh, wha?…..Oh,” she replied with a blush, “I guess I drifted off.” The constellation of ice shards dissipated in an instant.

Ryder smirked, “You’ve been doing that quite a lot lately, Quintus Spiritus” he said, softly mocking her formal title. “I wonder if Queen Anna has bumped into as many walls as you have trees in the last week.”

Several Northuldra around the fire quietly chuckled at the mental image.

“Perhaps that’s it”, smiled Honeymaren “she is after all missing her other half”

“Oh hush everyone, it hasn’t been that bad…..has it?” Elsa queried, slightly embarrassed despite being among friends.

“Hasn’t it?” Replied Yelena. “What have the Spirits been telling you? More importantly, have you been listening?”

Elsa looked uncertain, worry and anxiety creeping back into her face after the whirlwind of beautiful remembrances she’d just experienced.

Yelena spoke up, “Dear child, you know the path you must walk now. You fool only yourself and inflict pain on you both by remaining.”

“Yelena. _Elder_ ,” she replied, using a more formal address for the woman, “you know my place is…”

“…wherever you are needed,” Honeymaren interjected. “and it is plain to us all, where that is.”

Yelena nodded. “The spirits know where you are and will respond to your call. Queen Anna, _your_ Anna is also the Fifth Spirit. You are stronger together. Go to her. You’ve been here long enough and we are quite capable of looking after ourselves. I promise I will call for you if anything should require your presence.”

The villagers were silent with anticipation, providing the space and quiet their friend needed.

The fire crackled and the nearby tents rustled in a light breeze.

Elsa fought with herself, with all her internal struggles apparent on her face. The Spirits HAD made things clear.

Her way was clear. She could go, she could leave now and be in Anna’s arms before midnight….if Anna would take her back. If Anna could forgive her for leaving and putting everyone and everything again ahead of her, of _their_ happiness. 

Who was she kidding. Anna could never forgive her. She’d burned too many bridges, let her down too many times, pushed her away again and again and again.

Her decision had to be final. She turned to the assembled villagers.

“No, I understand and am grateful for your concerns but I canno….”

“What are you waiting for my daughter?” she heard a familiar Voice ask. 

Elsa looked up, her eyes wide with incredulity….the waxing moon shining brightly now among the white birch.

“What are you afraid of my little Snow?” the Voice continued.

“Mamma?” she cried, “are you here?”

“Yes my love, I am here.” replied Iduna, “Will you not go to her?”

“Mamma, I love her so much…but I’ve hurt her.” She wailed, her eyes downcast. Then quietly whispering “I always end up hurting her.”

“She loves you more than you can ever know my sweet Elsa.” Her mother consoled. “Even now she stands on her balcony straining her eyes for any sign that you might appear.”

The Snow Queen’s face brightened, her eyes lighting with anticipation and hope, “S-she is?”

“Yes little Snow, even now her arms and her heart are open to you.” Iduna’s voice explained. “Let go your cares, the way is as open as my Anna’s heart.”

“This, my daughter, is your final destiny and your final lesson” her mother coaxed, “Make my Anna happy. Take her in your arms and never let her go, and find the peace you have sought for so long in that togetherness.”

“Oh mamma” she wept. “Is it possible, after so long….?”

She turned to Yelena. “Elder?”

“Ohhhh no. If you think for one moment that I’m going to disagree with Iduna’s spirit, well then your brain is more love-addled than I thought. GO, and I don’t want to see you back here unless Queen Anna is on your arm - do I make myself clear, _Snow Queen_?” she responded with an entirely straight face.

“Yes, Elder” Elsa laughed wetly with a deep curtsy.

A sudden gust of wind and leaves swirled around her skirts as she turned to summon her watery mount. Looking back one last time, she smiled at her people, her extended family and then plunged ahead, southward to reclaim her heart.

An hour outside of Arendelle, Elsa’s anticipation was growing, nearly to the bursting point. She’d urged Nokk harder than she ever had and although his was the strength of the water spirit, his snorts let her know he was at his limit and would not be pushed further.

As the clouds cleared and the moon shone fully upon a calm night sea, she finally realized she was free. Free to love as she wished, free to hold Anna in her arms, free to be who she truly was meant to be.

“Elsa?” the distant Voice called.

“Yes mamma?”

“Bring my Anna to see me, won’t you? I’ve missed her so.”

“Yes mamma, we will come, both of us.”

“That’s my good girl, that’s my little Snow.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Better? 
> 
> As you can see this is Elsa's story. She wrote it, mine were just the hands on the keyboard.  
> I originally had planned to write a few paragraphs to post on Tumblr but she had other plans and kept me up nearly 24 hours straight to finish this in a day.
> 
> This is the end of my tale, but obviously not the end of the story.  
> Anna hasn’t had her say yet and she’s getting impatient...
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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